FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitive

FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitive

ILLEGAL TRANSSEXUAL SLAVE TRADING,
DESTRUCTION OF FEMALE ANATOMY (2 HEARTS BROKEN, 1 VAGINA), ILLEGAL
SOLICITATION OF UNDERAGE PROSTITUTES BY USE OF MYSPACE, FAILURE TO
APPEAR FOR REDNECK COURT HEARING

NICK  STERLING

Photograph of Nick Sterling taken in 2005

Photograph taken in 2009

 Photograph of the infamous Nick Sterling taken in 2005

Photograph taken in 2006
Aliases: Nickster, Nick, “sonik”, Cocks Galore, Rambo, Mr. Nick, Fetus, One Hung Way Low, “the drunk guy in the corner mumbling to himself”, Gary Busey’s twin brother, Zac Efron.

DESCRIPTION

Date of Birth: May 26th, 1983 Hair: Trendy
Place of Birth: San Diego, California Eyes: Blue and green
Height: 5′11″ to 6′1″” Complexion: Zombie
Weight: 150lbs dripping wet Sex: Yes, plz?
Build: Rambo-esque Race: Cock-casion
Occupation: Internet celebrity? Nationality: Irish and drunk
Scars and Marks: Left elbow, left ankle, left testicle, left shoulder, left side entirely.
Remarks: Sterling is a serial fornicator and compulsive Myspace addict. He enjoys perky breasted women, writing, and massive amounts of cheap malt liquor. He is known to frequent hookah bars, play chess, and is an avid internet user. He is a midget-porn enthusiast. Sterling reportedly abuses alcohol, pure uncut Bolivian cocaine, and fancies himself a sheep pimp.

CAUTION

NICK STERLING IS BEING SOUGHT FOR HIS ROLE IN NUMEROUS
MIDGET AND AMPUTEE-RELATED OFFENSES ACROSS SAN DIEGO COUNTY. HE IS A
MASTER OF DISGUISES. HE IS KNOWN TO HIDE HIS LARGE MUSCLES AND
INTIMIDATING DEMEANOR UNLESS PROVOKED. HE HAS A VIOLENT TEMPER AND IS
KNOWN TO CARRY A GROCERY STORE ISSUED BOX CUTTER AT ALL TIMES.

CONSIDERED HORNY AND EXTREMELY SEXY!

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON,
PLEASE CONTACT YOUR Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency
OR THE NEAREST U.S. EMBASSY OR LIQUOR STORE

REWARD

The FBI is offering a $13.24 reward for information leading directly to the naked pictures of NICK STERLING. Or if you actually catch the bastard, castrate him so no one gets traumatized looking at that thing.

March 2007
Poster Revised February 2010
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