When I first started writing this piece, my blog software asked me what type of category this topic falls under. I was hesitant to say, “anatomy” because many doctors and medical professionals probably would be misled, but fuck them. Anyways, a couple months ago I had a discussion with a female friend about ugly vagina’s.
Mr. Nick does not like ugly vagina’s.
Granted, I’ve only seen one -less than pretty- vagina in person. I’ve been blessed with girls who had great genetics because they all had nice, well-groomed snatches. And I’m a very picky guy when it comes to the opposite sex. If I see a vagina that looks like someone blasted a shotgun out of a girl’s pelvis, I’m immediately turned off. Vagina’s aren’t meant to look like hillside rock crevices with dense shrubbery.
Well, maybe they are. But that’s neither here nor there.
Here’s a good example of V.L.D (vaginal let down):
Imagine you are seconds away from banging Jessica Simpson. You have her bra off, her tig-ol-bitties are flopping in your face, and she’s purring, “Fuck me, HARD“. So you slowly pull down her Victoria’s Secret thong only to reveal a musky, Arby’s sandwich between her legs, buns and all.
How much of a let down would that be???
I’m sure everyone would still fuck her, because hey, it’s Jessica Simpson and she’s so-fuckable and a celebrity. But would you really be excited to go downtown on that… thing? Most of you horndogs would, but I would be like, “fuck this SUCKS. But maybe I can steal money out of her purse afterwards. *Hey look, a John Mayer CD too. I can pawn that for like… some belly lint and a few dirt-stained pesos!*”
If it was a regular girl sporting the roast beef vagina, NO WAY. But Jessica gets to pass go and collect her $200.
I know that certain girls are born with deformed vaginas, and I accept that. My female friend recommended labiaplasty (it’s probably spelled wrong because I’m too lazy to look it up), I suggested a convent. Whatever.
And before I get a bunch of PM’s from girls with ugly vagina’s complaining that a lot of guys have ugly dicks, kick rocks. I have a nice looking dick that is very well “maintained”, and that’s all that matters. If other guy’s dicks look like Polish sausages then you shouldn’t be fucking them, you should bang me instead. Then afterwards, admire my well-endowed genitalia by gently petting it and whispering in my ear, “how it’s like a mini version of Nick Sterling”. Yeah baby, stroke my ego.
Some people say I’m delusional, I just say I’m right all the time.
Down with the ugly vag!
this is so fucking ignorant. i hope you do not seriously believe this shit. all vaginas look different, the variation is what makes them beautiful. if you like all the women you fuck to look like five years olds down there, fully shaved with no inner labia, then you have a serious issue. real women have developed genitalia and visible labia, and if you can't deal with that perhaps you aren't ready to have sex with women. stay away from the little girls though, your prefference for sexually undeveloped, prepubescent looking vaginas is disconcerting and sick.
You're going to sit on your critic's chair and tell me vaginas are beautiful? Assuming by the feminist tone of your words, I'll assume you have an ugly vagina. It probably looks like something that washed up on the beach, and because of that you decided to aim your vitriol and misplaced vaginal aggression on me? Wonderful.
What's “disconcerting and sick” is how you reference vaginas. You pee out of them. You use it to define your worth in life… good for you. I simply point out that some of them are ugly and you start an inquisition championing vaginal rights? I want to join your newsletter. You have interesting things to say.
You're going to sit on your critic's chair and tell me vaginas are beautiful? Assuming by the feminist tone of your words, I'll assume you have an ugly vagina. It probably looks like something that washed up on the beach, and because of that you decided to aim your vitriol and misplaced vaginal aggression on me? Wonderful.
What's “disconcerting and sick” is how you reference vaginas. You pee out of them. You use it to define your worth in life… good for you. I simply point out that some of them are ugly and you start an inquisition championing vaginal rights? I want to join your newsletter. You have interesting things to say.
very good information you write it very clean. I’m very lucky to get
this info from you.